Solving a Social Puzzle: Social Media and Social Anxiety...

Abstract: Teenagers have a social brain, and usually spending time with their peers brings them much joy and is an important part of their development.  Some teens though battle with social anxiety, and being a teenage girl today involves navigating a much more complex social world.  The social puzzle is that even though teenagers are wired to be social, because their brains are still developing, they are also more vulnerable to feeling anxious about social situations.  This article explores the amazing teenage brain, what social anxiety is, and how your social media use can impact your mental health.  Social media can be a great platform for connection, but unhealthy use can contribute to or worsen social anxiety.

Introduction:

If you’re a teenage girl, no one needs to tell you the importance of your friends. You might not know though, that you’re wired to be social.  Being social helps you learn about yourself, others and where you fit in.  There are a number of natural changes that happen in you as you transition into adulthood and become more independent.  However, not all teenage girls find socialising easy, and the relatively new existence of social media adds another dimension to being social. If you have ever felt like you’re unnaturally nervous about new situations and you care too much about what others think, or you know you have social anxiety and wonder how all the time on social media could be affecting you, this article is for you.

The amazing teenage brain: wired for connection

 Teenagers have a social brain, you’re wired to be social, because social interactions and relationships are important.  In your teenage years your brain has a very sensitive reward system (in a part of your brain called the Ventral Striatum see figure 1), a more active emotional centre (Limbic system including amygdala see figure 1) and your main thinking brain (prefrontal cortex or PFC) is still under construction.(1)  This combination means teenagers tend to crave connection with friends, react strongly to social cues, can be impulsive and prepared to take risks to fit in, and are still learning to navigate challenging social situations. (1)

Figure 1 (Ventral Striatum, Amygdala, Prefrontal Cortex and Medial prefrontal cortex)

(Image Source: https://x.com/DiseasePrimers/status/1273255577423052800)

The adolescent years are known as a “sensitive” period because the brain is still developing. It’s remodelling and going through a “pruning” phase. A bit like the art of Topiary, imagine your brain is a tree and branches are being trimmed and shaped. (See figure 2.)  

Figure 2.  Synaptic Pruning is a bit like Topiary

(Image Sources: https://www.freepik.com/premium-photo/head-with-tree_29407597.htm, and https://www.hartsofstur.com/burgon-ball-sophie-conran-topiary-shears-gsctopsh.html)

The part getting pruned is called “grey matter” (see figure 3).  By pruning, your brain is getting rid of connections it doesn’t use and then it gets to work making the important ones stronger by increasing white matter (myelination see figure 3). Healthy brains are selective in their pruning, and this change in grey and white matter is an important part in development. The more we use certain circuits the more they are favoured and reinforced.  This “use it or lose it” approach or “plasticity” affects our ability to learn from experiences.  This stage of development makes you a great learner but also sensitive to negative experiences. (1)  The teenage years are a time when what your friends think of you is an important part of who you think you are, and because of everything that is going on in your brain, it’s also a time you’re most vulnerable to social anxiety. (2)

Figure 3: The brain: Grey and White Matter. Grey matter is the cell bodies and dendrites of the neuron and the white matter is the axon covered in myelin).   

(Image: Wikipedia)

What is Social Anxiety?

It might be hard to imagine teens not wanting to be social, especially given what you’ve just learned about the teenage brain, however social anxiety (or SAD) is the most common type of mental disorder in teenagers. (3) It’s normal to sometimes feel shy and some people are naturally more introvert, but SAD is different. (4). It’s a disorder where you feel extremely nervous or scared about social situations because you’re worried about embarrassing yourself, or being judged, or humiliated by others.  This fear can be so strong that your body reacts as if you’re in real danger even though there’s no immediate threat.  Your heart races, your muscles become tense, and your breathing changes.  Having SAD can affect everyday life, because you may try to avoid social situations, and this could include school, sport or even things like ordering food from the tuckshop, answering a question in class, or eating in public.  (2)

The brains of teens with SAD behave differently, in the way they process social information, situations and emotions.(5) The amygdala (deals with fear and emotions, see figure 1) becomes extra active in anticipation of social situations while the parts that help you think clearly and predict the likelihood of threats (the PFC and Medial PFC in figure 1) are less active so social cues can be misinterpreted as threatening. (3) The teenage years are known for self consciousness anyway, but if you have SAD then you probably have unrealistically high expectations of yourself and an intense self-focus.(3) You spend so much time worrying about how you are coming across that you miss the opportunity to connect.  Avoiding social situations because they feel scary might feel safer in the moment, but can make anxiety worse over time, because you don’t get the chance to challenge your fears or learn from a positive experience. If you have social anxiety, there are therapies (like CBT) available that can support you to think differently about social situations and equip you to face them(2,6).

Teenage girls and the world of Social Media:

Today most teenagers (92%) use social media, spending more than two hours a day online. (7) The most popular platforms for girls are YouTube, Instagram, Facebook messenger, Snapchat and about 30% use WhatsApp.(8)  It’s become a major part of how teens relate and connect. (7)  It can strengthen bonds, help friends stay connected by enabling easy sharing of information, trends or content on common interests. When used in healthy ways it can help teens feel less isolated or alone which is important for mental health (especially for marginalised youth). (7) 

At first glance social media seems like a helpful platform for teens with SAD to interact with peers without having to deal with social situations in person.  People with SAD prefer online communication, they feel more in control of themselves and how they choose to appear to the world. (5) Online you can take your time to think about what you want to say or post, edit your messages, and no one will notice if you blush.  You can also post only your favorite photos and make sure no one ever sees you on a bad day. So is it a safer environment or could it make social anxiety worse?

Why and when social media use isn’t so healthy:

Research suggests, the way social media is used, impacts mental health. Here are four factors that make it less healthy.

It’s easy to Spend too much time on social media: The lure of social media is undeniable, it’s designed to activate the reward centres of your brain (figure 3) and can be addictive. To make matters worse teenager’s brains are more motivated by instant rewards (even small ones) compared to waiting for a future reward (even if it’s bigger). This principle is called “Temporal Discounting Preference”(1)Getting likes and comments gives your brain a boost of-feel good chemicals (dopamine), which makes you want to keep checking and posting.  This can lead to spending too much time online at the expense of doing other things (getting enough sleep or your homework).  This can have a knock-on effect, worsening the impact of social anxiety. The 13-17 year age group are particularly heavy users of social media. (6,8) Research (involving 11000 teens) showed that spending three or more hours a day on social media, was linked to anxiety and depression, particularly in teenage girls. (6)  The more time spent the bigger the impact.  Parents and teens often disagree about how much time is too much, however there is a Social Media Disorder Scale that outlines criteria of disordered use(9). (Check out figure 4 to see how your use compares).

Figure 4: The 9 Item Social Media Disorder Scale(9).

2.     Cyber bullying: Social media can provide a platform for bullying and having SAD can make teens even more vulnerable to peer victimisation. (8) More anonymity online can seem like a good thing for someone with SAD, but the downside is: others can also hide.  The same shield makes online negative behaviour harder to avoid, and harder to stop.(8) Cyber bullying has a negative impact on mental health.  And because teenagers with SAD are sensitive to negative social evaluations (and sometimes even interpret neutral social cues as threatening) being bullied can have a more serious impact (3)  Additionally, social acceptance at this age is important, and social exclusion (a form of cyber-bullying) can feel particularly threatening… in fact rejection shows up (in brain scans) in the same pain centres in the brain as physical pain, it hurts!  Being excluded or victimised not only hurts your feelings, it can affect your mental and physical health.  

3.    There is a two-way relationship between unhealthy use and social anxiety:  Teens with SAD often have unhealthy social media use, and unhealthy social media use can contribute to anxiety.  Teens with SAD use social media differently, they tend to be less active(7)  They spend more time scrolling than posting, trying to avoid judgement or negative feedback.  This could seem like a good thing, however, the constant scrolling can lead to unhealthy comparisons, lowering self-esteem, and reinforcing negative social fears. (7)  Social comparison is normal, and common in the teenage years. (7)  Teens compare themselves to others to assess their social worth or status in society.  (7) Social comparison also occurs in the real world, but the online environment doesn’t necessarily reflect reality and it's easy to attribute too much significance to the available information, leading to feelings of inferiority, or inadequacy (which feeds SAD).

4.    The online world and social media was not built with teens in mind. Finally, and sadly even well-meaning teens with responsible use can be impacted negatively.  Most teens (90%) are online to build positive relationships, and use social media in positive ways (post nice comments, support friends and include each other).  Despite this nearly half of teens have had negative online experiences.(8) Teens have a limited capacity for self-regulation (managing and recovering from emotional upset because of an underdeveloped MPFC – see figure 1).  They are more vulnerable to the negative effects of social media use, especially exposure to inappropriate content, and are at greater risk of developing mental disorders. (7) The new age limit of 16 is a positive and protective development.

Three tips for Healthier Social Media use:

• 1.     Set yourself a daily time limit, e.g. a maximum of 2 hours and turn off notifications.

• 2.     Be selective with your audience and your feed. Make your account private.  Avoid content that sets unrealistic expectations of you or makes you feel bad about yourself. Focus on uplifting content and remember not everything you see is the full story. “Keep it real” if you post but don’t “overshare”.  Authenticity is important but you don’t need to make yourself vulnerable.

• 3.     Get offline, and practice being social in the real world.  Start with situations that feel less scary, and get support, you don’t need to do this alone. 

Solving the puzzle: Be less social online so you can be more social offline!

Being a teenage girl today involves navigating a more complex social world.  Even though teenagers are wired to be social, because their brains are still developing, they are also more vulnerable to feeling anxious about social situations. The fear and avoidance associated with social anxiety, coupled with spending too much time on social media and the emotional toll associated with unhealthy use, can impact multiple aspects of life including mood, relationships, academic results and even physical health.  The key is to spend less time on social media and more time with your friends in the real world.

Glossary:

Topiary: the art of shaping trees by clipping and training them to create a living sculpture.

Introvert: is a personality style charactered by someone being quiet, introspective, reserved

Reinforcing: providing consequences that increase the likelihood of a behavior being repeated in the future.

Self regulation:refers to the ability to manage disruptive emotions and impulses.

Peer victimisation: an experience in which someone is the victim of aggression (like bullying or verbal abuse) by a peer.

Myelination: Much like the insulation around the wires in electrical systems, glial cells form a membraneous sheath surrounding axons called myelin. This myelination, insulates the axon which increases the speed of signals transmitted between neurons (known as action potentials).

Neuron: also known as a nerve cell.

Temporal discounting preference: the tendency to value immediate rewards more highly than delayed rewards.

Avoidance behaviour: a way of coping with challenging feelings, thoughts, and experiences. Basically, the mind is trying to keep a person safe from a source of anxiety or danger.

Marginalised:young people who are excluded from mainstream society and its opportunities due to factors like low socioeconomic status, disability, sexual minority, or immigrant status

References:

1.       Chein J, Albert D, O’Brien L, Uckert K, Steinberg L. Peers increase adolescent risk taking by enhancing activity in the brain’s reward circuitry. Dev Sci. 2011 Mar 15;14(2).

2.       Leigh. E & CD. Understanding social anxiety disorder in adolescnets and improving treatment outcomes_ applying the cognitive model of Clark and Wells 1995. Clinic Child and Fam Psych Review. 2018;21:388–414.

3.       Rapee RM, Creswell C, Kendall PC, Pine DS, Waters AM. Anxiety disorders in children and adolescents: A summary and overview of the literature. Behaviour Research and Therapy. 2023 Sep;168:104376.

4.       Institute of Mental Health N. Social Anxiety Disorder: More Than Just Shyness.

5.       Australian Government. Adolescent internet use predicts higher levels of generalized and social anxiety symptoms for girls but not boys - main [Internet]. 2022 Feb [cited 2025 May 2]. Available from: https://www.esafety.gov.au/research/digital-lives-of-aussie-teens

6.       Khalaf AM, Alubied AA, Khalaf AM, Rifaey AA. The Impact of Social Media on the Mental Health of Adolescents and Young Adults: A Systematic Review. Cureus. 2023 Aug 5;

7.       Keles B, McCrae N, Grealish A. A systematic review: the influence of social media on depression, anxiety and psychological distress in adolescents. Int J Adolesc Youth. 2020 Dec 31;25(1):79–93.

8.       Australian Government. The Digital lives of Aussie teens [Internet]. 2021 [cited 2025 May 2]. Available from: https://www.esafety.gov.au/research/digital-lives-of-aussie-teens

9.       Van Den Eijnden RJJM, Lemmens JS, Valkenburg PM. The Social Media Disorder Scale: Validity and psychometric properties. Comput Human Behav. 2016 Aug 1;61:478–87.